First off, let me clarify that I do not advocate someone learning about Tantra through sex. There are other Tantric practices that are much more conducive for spiritual growth. What I have found through my journey is that people who explore Tantra first through sex, have a very surface level understanding of the power of the practice.
Tantric sex is only meant for already advanced practitioners.
While there is such a thing as a Tantric sexual ritual, it was taught in only one text out of many hundreds. The ritual was primarily a meditative exercise, not a pleasure-maximizing exercise.
However, that being said, if you already have a strong meditation practice, and would like to take your sexual experience to another level, this guide will be beneficial for you. I see no harm in publishing such an article if used correctly. Remember that the when describing the process of God (Shiva) and his creation (Shakti), it can be very sexual in nature, so we must never forget that these universal concepts will always apply to our human experience. The very act of creation is sexual. A very smooth, sensual feeling; a very intimate and emotional outpouring. May you use this guide with awareness and direct intent to be more intimate in all experiences of the Heart.
Love is my favourite sexual position.
– Jeff Brown
Nothing that is being taught in Tantric sex is different from what we already have experienced through meditation. The energies are just expressing themselves in a different form. If you came to this page with no understanding of Tantra, I highly recommend reading the other articles first, to deepen your understanding, and also enhance your sexual experience.
Deepen Your Tantric Sex Experience
1. Breathe
Feel your breathing, and breathe into the diaphragm. Breathe in such a way that you can hear your own breathing flowing in and out.
It is possible to make a conscious effort to breathe in this way together, which we can call simultaneous breathing. Listen to your lover’s breath and start to tune into his or her breathing rhythm, and begin breathing out and in together.
Synchronous breathing may arise during lovemaking too, where one partner breathes in while the other breathes out. The man breathes in through his heart and out his penis. The woman breathes in through her vagina and out through her heart.
Although breathing through the nose is more refined as it affects the mediative and subtle body centres, mouth breathing may help you to be more fully aware in the body. Breathing through the mouth affects the lower body centres and the emotions, so feel free to use whichever style of breath works for you in the moment.
Tantra says that when lovers remain in rhythmic breathing in unison, there will be no ejaculation. If the breath is in rhythm, the body absorbs energy; it never throws it out.
2. Eye Contact
Eyes are powerful channels for sexual energy. They reveal our nakedness and our innocence and expose us to the reality of the present moment. This helps us to be authentic. 80% of our energy is projected out of the eyes.
When eye contact between two people is initiated and maintained, an invisible energetic circuit is established between the two participants, dissolving the barriers that ordinarily separate them from each other, drawing them ever closer into a shared awareness of union.
– Will Johnson
In society we are often reluctant to look someone straight in the eye. We sometimes even interpret eye contact as an intrusion, an invasion of our privacy, or a challenge and exertion of power.
Making eye contact is an art in itself. I found it useful to begin by allowing my eyes to have what can be called “soft vision.” This means that I allow everything in through my eyes, a receptive quality. In normal vision we are looking from in to out, but here we want to look in. Like windows, they are simply here and open, receiving. When your eyes meet those of your lover, when you look at each other softly and lovingly, you are allowing yourself to be seen.
Receive the energy through your eyes, taking it into your body. Invite your lover into yourself through the eyes.
It’s good to spend time looking at both eyes. Notice the different qualities in the right and left eyes, the varying colours and configurations. Which eye challenges you more? Which one is softer? Which one awakens the sexual response in you? Stay with each eye for a while and learn to feel comfortable with both of them.
Make eye contact when you can and when you can’t, don’t. Sometimes it is necessary to realign with yourself, with your centre, by closing your eyes and feeling exactly what is happening inside the body.
See how soft you can become and how deeply you can take him in through your eyes. Look right back into yourself and see how far you can go. One day a moment will arise when a doorway opens and the sex deter and eyes unite. It’s breathtaking!
3. Awareness
4. Imagination