Introduction to Relationships

It is amazing how certain relationships can deepen our experience of the moment, even in their physical absence. The energy of the connection opens doors where before there were none, portals to the great within and the great beyond. Certain connections paint pictures of possibilities in the sky, expanding our lens for all eternity.

– Jeff Brown

RelationshipsAs human beings, we are subject to different relationships in all levels in our life. This is part of the wonderful diversity that blossoms when God-Consciousness separates itself into the many (see Kashmir Shaivism). As we bring a truly Tantric perspective into our daily life, we learn how to marry the God and Goddess in every individual. In relationship, this means that when two people meet, they don’t feel the need to project either their life-force (Shakti) or their consciousness (Shiva) onto the other. Instead, they can come tighter from a place where the masculine and the feminine, awareness and energy, are incarnated equally in men and in women. This allows both for deeper relationship, and for greater fullness in each individual.

We should remember to define a positive relationship solely in terms of whether we have learned from it, expanded from it, grown to the next stage on our spiritual journey. When we move from this perspective, relationship becomes a wonderful depth charge for our expansion. With all relationships, we learn something and become better at relating with ourself.

We are not just here together to keep each other company We are here together to show each other God.


With respect to relationship, I believe that our best hope is to find our own sacred purpose, so that we are always making love with the divine. Then the question of relationship with another human takes on a different degree of meaning. We want it to enhance our lives, but not to make us whole.

Our relationship with God can be seen as one that relates to the Five Bhavas.

When you have loved as God loves, you no longer yearn for companionship in the same way. You no longer feel isolated when you walk alone. Because you have been penetrated by divinity. Because you have been transformed beyond yourself. Because you walk in sacred shoes. Because you always feel the beloved close at heart.


Our family has always been part of our life.


It’s very natural for our friends to change over time based on our interests. Be prepared to be lonely at times during the journey for Truth. It can be very isolating to search for the silence among the fast pace of modern life. Walking through uncharted territory often means walking alone. It’s like primary school all over again–who will be your True friends?

Release people who should no longer be travelling with you. A new tribe awaits.

– Mike Yap

On your journey, as you shed your old ways of thinking, interacting with certain people may seem artificial, scripted, or silly. Whereas before it was fine to hang out and waste time, now there is no time to lose. Now you must protect your sacred purpose from connections that undermine it. It is important to realize that it is possible to hold the belief in someone’s highest possibilities while simultaneously accepting that they are not at a stage where friendship is appropriate. Because growth oriented individuals tend to be empathic, they run a particular risk of remaining close to people who can drag them down. If two people cannot meet on relatively equal footing, there are two options: the relationship can end, or it can be organized around the developmental stage of the least conscious member. Give yourself permission to go where the growth is. Some of us are meant to jump through the world of karma together, some of us aren’t… (see A Letter to a Dear, Dark Friend).


The discovery of truth without love is is empty and the experience of love without truth is superficial.

– Andrew Cohen

Lovers will come, and lovers will go. We can search for a relationship, but we cannot search for love. Love finds us when it’s ready.

You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. It doesn’t matter how much two people love one another if they are developmentally incompatible, or if there is not a shared willingness to become conscious. This is why they call it a relationship instead of a lovership. Love alone is not enough. If you want it to last, you have to relate to each other in ways that keep the ship afloat. You must have a genuine fascination with someone’s inner world, with the way they organize reality, with the unfathomable depths of their being. To hear their soul cry out to you again and again, and never lose interest in what it is trying to convey.

Life should be lived to the point of tears.

– Albert Camus

Remember when a relationship ends, we shouldn’t see it as a defeat, but as a victory necessary to open the paths to wholeness. Honour the courage it took to open to the possibility of love, where we see intimacy as a wondrous opportunity to deepen our human experience. How can it be a complete defeat? It took such courage to be brave enough, to fall in love with the Divine, to touch God through our vulnerable heart. This is not to say that we don’t grieve at loss, but to remind us of the opportunity that lives at the heart of every farewell.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

– Kahlil Gibran

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